Thursday, December 4, 2014

Internet and Me

My relationship with internet is pretty simply this: "Internet saved my life". There's nothing to add to that. If there wasn't for Internet, I wouldn't be here anymore, period.

I have got many good friends online, and also some of them I have been privileged to meet in real life. I can't be more thankful to these people, who can take me as I am, after all, my background being what it is, it's hard for me to trust anyone, and hard for me to think that I will ever get any friends, or at least that's how it was before I ended up watching streams regularly. Some people mind find it odd, but it's easier for me to be myself online, than "in real life". I find it easier to be genuine and open in here, than if I see someone. That's why it's hard for me to get friends in where I live. I have absolutely no friends that I could see daily, or even weekly, in here. That's why I use every chance I get to see internet friends.

Another thing that some might find "odd", is that most of my best friends online are younger than me, and also most people I talk to are girls (yes there are girls online). For me, as I have thought about reasons for this, I usually come to conclusion, that I don't like people my age, probably somewhat coming from the bullying I've been through in my life, which have made me unable to trust pretty much anyone, and also the fact, that I'm 100% non-drinker, which hardens things in my age; most people my age are going to bars "every" weekend. Also, I mostly think that my brain is younger than my real age. My brain is still "teenager", so I find myself pretty often talking to people younger than me, because I have same opinions, etc. The reason why I am more open with girls than boys? That probably comes from the fact that people who bullied me as little were mostly boys.

I will NEVER stop being online; if I can't get to social media for longer than couple of days, I would "die", because my whole social life is online. Thank you Internet; thank you all of you!

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