I'm a failure

I used to be good at school, until high school. Although I still managed to pass matriculation examination, and get to University with the papers, I didn't really do that well in high school, when thinking how good I actually was before that in school. And probably most of you know what happened in Uni. I failed it. I was present at University for 6 or 7 years, until studying time ended. I studied study credits for maybe 1½ years. Why? Because I could never get into studying, because I have no passion to anything, I had no reason to go to lectures, and I had no friends, mainly because I never fit in. I never fit into any group. 

I can't do anything I try to do:
   - studying? Failed because no passion, hence no motivation. 

   - working? Was in a job for a year, got fired, because I never learned the job. Made dozens of job applications, got answers from maybe 5, four no's, and one call with "we'll call again later", which ended up as an empty hope. 

   - hobbies? Floorball as a kid, had passion, but not enough to really learn the sport. Still would love to play it, because it's a great sport. Video games? I'm a social player, but I'm bad at being social. I'm also bad at online games, and I'd love to be better, but again, not passionate enough to really put effort. 

   - friends? I have online friends, they mean the world to me, but I keep losing friends, because I can't be social or keep in contact. Also somehow people tend to not like me in a long run. I never hear it from anyone, because I keep getting told I'm such a good friend, but I don't know what to really trust. 

I really wish I was something else than socially awkward nerd, who can't get anything done. But at the moment, depression is starting to get back into my life, because I really just... can't... I'm not fine. Maybe if I was fine, I wouldn't be mad at my dog every walk we have. Maybe I would actually have energy to cook myself even 3 times a week. Maybe I would actually be a student or have a job, if I actually was fine. Maybe I didn't cry once a day because I couldn't get even the simplest of tasks done. Maybe I could actually contact the important people in my life without fearing that I'll fail that too. I'm lost, again. I just don't want to accept it...

That's why I bang my head against the wall
'Cause I don't like myself at all,
Wish that I could cut all the ties
And now my life is such a tragedy
'Cause I'm my biggest enemy,
I can't look myself in the eyes
It's I against me

~Anna Blue - I Against Me